Monday, July 15, 2013

Pregnancy questions Answered-After the Pregnancy

Questions after the Pregnancy and their answers

Under what circumstances should a baby not be circumcised?
** When it's a girl, for starters.

Where is the best place to store breast milk?
** In your breasts.

Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
** Yes, baby lips.

What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
** It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.

How does one sanitize nipples?
** Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.

What are the terrible twos?
** Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey.

What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
** When you see teeth marks.

What happens to disposable diapers after they're thrown away?
** They are stored in a silo in the Midwest, in the event of global chemical warfare.

Do I have to have a baby shower?
** Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

What causes baby blues?
** Tanned, hard-bodied bimbos.

What is colic?
** A reminder for new parents to use birth control.

What are night terrors?
** Frightening episodes in which the new mother dreams she's pregnant again.

Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
** Yes, pregnancy.

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