Monday, April 22, 2013

Sick humor-Absolutele Gross

There was this 92-year-old woman whose body was covered from head to toe with big festering puss-filled boils. They were on her face, her arms and her legs...everywhere. Each was filled with mucus and blood.

This old lady was also a masochist, so she put an ad in the paper offering to pay anyone five thousand dollars if they would bite off each and every one of her boils.

She didn't get any immediate response, but sure enough after a while this guy was desperate for money and agreed to do the job.

He showed up at the woman's house and she came out in a robe. She peeled it off and revealed her boil covered body. The guy groaned at the thought of the task ahead of him, but he just kept concentrating on the five grand and went to work, biting on a boil on the woman's arm until it popped blood and puss all over his face.

He kept going for over five hours, biting off the boils between the elderly woman's toes and in her armpits. He bit off boils on her inner thighs and inside of her ears. Finally he was finished and he fell back with a pant, covered with blood, pus, mucous and dripping with sweat. The woman lay on the bed a mass of crimson patches of bruises and ripped flesh.

"Okay lady..." the man said with a gasp, "I did it...now give me the five grand..."

"Just a second, sonny..." the woman said with a grin, "there's one more left!"

She bent over and spread her wrinkled withered butt cheeks to reveal a gigantic boil about the size of a baby's head growing right out of her arse.

The man rolled his eyes and gagged and said to himself..."What the hell, I've gone this far...only one left...I need the money...what the hell..." and then dove face first at the butt boil, gnawing and biting at it repeatedly trying to make it pop.

Then, out of the blue, the old woman let out a giant fart.

The man reeled back from between her b*tt crack and yelled at her:

"WHAT ARE YA TRYING TO DO LADY...MAKE ME SICK?!?"

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