Friday, August 1, 2014

New dress

Dara got a call from her old friend Richa after a few days of her marriage.

Richa asked her, "Dara, did you wear the dress that I presented to you when you got married? Did you like it? Was it the right size?"

Dara replied,  "To hell with your dress. He is not allowing me to wear my panties since the past one week......and you are talking about the dress!"

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Emancipated

Jason felt emancipated since he became a part of a nudist community. One fine day, he received a mail from him mother asking him to send her his latest pic. Since it would be too difficult to explain to his mom the reasons why he lived in a nudist community, Jason decided to crop his pic and mailed only the top half of the pic.

Then he received another mail requesting him to send a pic to his grandma. He accidentally sent the bottom half of cropped pic. He was worried sick that his grandma would see his unmentionables. Then it occurred to him that his grandma suffered from poor eyesight, so maybe she would not be able to figure out at all.

After 2 days, there was a mail from grandma. She wrote, "Nice pic, but your hairstyle needs a change. This one makes your nose look kind-of long!"

Sunday, July 13, 2014

a great idea

A warden of a boy’s hostel was talking to a friend in a bar. After a while their conversation got around to hostel life and the warden said to his friend: “You know, everything is fine with hostel life and the boys, except one thing. Initially, for a month or so they are alright and very active with sports and dramas and such things. But after a while they become restless and the clowns whack off anywhere, anytime, on the wall, on the floor, on the bed. It’s a messy thing. Don’t see a solution.”

The warden’s friend thought for a while and said: “I have an idea. You buy a small barrel. Tell the boy’s to use the drum and fill it up. Promise them a night out alternatively in the group of fours with movie tickets every night. That should do the trick.”

Warden: “Hey, that’s a great idea. But that will set me back for a few bucks every night for those movie tickets.”

Friend: “The idea is to sell the barrel to the wax factory on the other side of the town. You should recover the expense of movies and your place will remain clean.”

The warden liked the idea. The boys liked the idea. At the end of the week the warden sold the barrel to the wax factory and made a tidy sum. The boys continued their ‘night out’ in alternate groups of four. Everything was fine for a while.

Then one day police came to the boy’s hostel looking for the warden and arrest him. The warden was aghast: “What on earth have I done?”

Police: “You S.O.B., You ask what you have done? You sold all that wax to the candle factory.”

Warden: “Yes, but that’s not a crime, is it?”

Police: “Yes, it is. The factory made candles out of your wax, sold the candles to the girl’s hostel and most of the girls there are pregnant, including their warden.”

Monday, October 14, 2013

Funny jokes-Current weather

Top ten ways to describe the current weather
10.Partly apocalyptic

9.Mostly sweaty

8.Fetid with a chance of putrid

7.Toupee-glue melting

6.Sauna-rific

5.Sunstroke-tastic

4.Soupy (but not chilled soups, like Vichyossie or Gazapcho)

3.Global basting

2.Mamma Mia, that's a spicy forecast!

1.So shvitzy I could plotz

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Doctor jokes-Crabs

Doctor: "I'm afraid I have some good news and  some bad news, Miss Hottwot."

Miss Hottwot said, "Well, give me the good news first, Doc."

Doctor, speaking rather somberly, said, "Your lab tests came back today, and your crabs are all gone."

Miss Hottwot smiled, and said "Gee, that's great! But what's the bad news?"

Doctor: "We don't know what killed them."